I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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