I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize