His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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