I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
