No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
