8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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