STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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