Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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