Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
