I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
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She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
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You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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