At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
3pm strippers are depressing
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
