You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
