i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
