You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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