conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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