There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
