I will die if light touches me.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize