i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
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The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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