I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
