We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
