So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Randomize
