dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize