white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
