we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
