Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
