We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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