Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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