She's JV to your varsity
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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