Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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