do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
