I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
