god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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