Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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