OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
