i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
