omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
