Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
