This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
