Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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