$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
