Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize