Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
