I looked at my own cervix.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I want to be your penis for a week.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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