I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
