i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
