i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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