He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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