brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
