Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
