end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i love accidental penises.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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