you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
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