Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
