Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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