You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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