i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
