she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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