I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
My dad is sitting where you rode me
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
