So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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