Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I need a beard to bite.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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