I will die if light touches me.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just google imaged poop.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
