i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
