Swine flu. Run for my life!
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
