I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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