addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
