"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Someone shattered a urinal.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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