foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize