dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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