That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Randomize
